Proverbs 3:5-6 “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and
lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him and he
will make your paths straight.”
Im sitting here asking myself what it means to trust someone
with your heart… not your mind. When I have trusted others with my heart and
not my intellect it was because of love. It often went against my logical judgment
and it was inspired by a deep hope and faith in the person I was trusting. I
often saw evidence that would lead me to mistrust the person but Love is a
stubborn thing that creates a faith and hope that can do nothing but persevere.
To trust someone with your heart means you have to love them deeply. You have
to know them deeply and understand their character. You have to believe the
best of them in spite of evidence that leads you to believe anything else.
Often my own understanding, based on my circumstances alone,
would lead me to believe that God is unjust, hurtful, not kind and not worthy
of my trust. When I have trusted him there have been times my paths have been
straight but have clearly lead straight to heartbreak. Those times my intellect
tells me “why did you trust? You should have known this would hurt. Why did you
submit? You would do a better job leading your life. He is not trustworthy.”
But it is my heart in those moments that reminds me that I do not have a mere intellectual
belief in Jesus. I KNOW him and I love him and my heart tells me that his
character is good, that he acts in only loving ways, that when his answer to my
pleading is not yes…it is always better than yes…even it if leads down a straight
path of suffering. There are deeper things at stake in these moments. Deeper
treasures to gain. My heart hopes and perseveres
in that hope because I know my savior
who loved and took the straight path set before him, that was full of suffering,
straight to a cross for me. I know a love that suffered an agony that far
surpasses anything he in his kindness would allow me to taste in this life. I know
a love that took on the weight of every sin, felt the excruciating depth of the
worlds brokenness and for a time was forsaken by his own father, the one he
loved most…so he could bear my punishment… all to be with me. I know a love that
chose me, that died for me, and that conquered death so that in my moments of
suffering I would not be alone.
If Jesus had only logically
looked at the earth, at those who betrayed him over and over, he should have
destroyed us all. It is illogical to save those who will not, can not, and most
often do not even slightly want to choose you. He chose to love a people
determined to turn from him. Where is the logic in that? Yet despite all logic
he pursued me. He loved me first and chose me and keeps me. The anchor holds
fast behind the veil and a seal has been set upon my heart. I am his, forever tethered
to his love. There is little logical
about how Hosea loved his wife who was a prostitute. There is little logical
about how Jesus chose me to be his own, despite what are often my best efforts
to choose idols and to be my own God. He loved me with his heart, not only his
logic. His love is unfailing and will not let me go.
I may not understand
the straight paths he leads me down as many times they are not paths I would ever
wish to take, but I am learning to trust the one who leads me with all my heart
because I know him, because I love him. When, by Gods strength and grace, I persevere
in this kind of trust, I always find that although the road may be painful and
the straight path may lead to a cross, the joy I find in Him and the life that
springs from death is always worth it. Although the cost of trusting God with
all my heart is great, I have never made a sacrifice. This is a truth that I
need to remind myself of daily, and all the more when suffering is the
greatest. God has always been faithful. When darkness closes in and pain
becomes searing, when the future feels unclear and logic tells me to run, Its
those moments that I remember his past faithfulness and his promise of
closeness in my darkest hour. I trust with my heart the one I know and love and
he gives me, moment by moment, the grace to sustain me.
